There’s a group of us travelling from the UK to Philadelphia for a New Year party so we’ve hired a private jet rather than choose commercial flights.
One of our group is rather elderly (though physically very fit indeed) but she has been known to have been ‘reprimanded’ for behavioural problems on commercial flights in the past (most likely due to a mixture of alcohol and altitude).
My concern is that if there is any repeat problems with her on a private jet, would the company from whom we are renting be within their rights to refuse the return travel arrangements even if we agree to pay for any damage that may be caused (I am referring to such things as stains on the seats etc)
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No. You will have to pay for the damage done to the aircraft though
If there is a deposit involved do not expect to get it back. (in general with chartered flights) A chartered flight is a much better venue for someone like this elderly woman you speak of. A bunch of us got drunk and were dancing on the plane and they didn’t complain…
I wouldn’t take any chances with your elderly traveler. Instead, slap a pair of cuffs on her. Use fuzzy red ones and she’ll think it’s all part of the fun. You might have to allow her to strip down to her g-string and halter top first to have her cooperation. All part of the fun your group should be enjoying on your plane ride. I’m confident in saying the ‘Mile High Club’ will have several new inductees by the time you land in Philly.
I would also keep a watchful eye on her at the customs check-in. She has been known to attempt bending the rules when taking agriculture in and out of countries.
Should there be damage to the plane, the company will charge you for it, but as long as there is was no danger to the safety on the aircraft, they will fly you back on your return trip.
I just don’t know how you will get her back Scoundy.
And the last time….she got herself stuck in aircraft doorway…although that was a Commercial Plane. I sure hope this Private Jet has Custom size doorways…and seats.
I suggest you give her those tiny blue pills with a nice glass of gin…4 should do it.
This way she won’t be tossing her tassels, or “Thai”ing any strangers up.
Lefty will be able to travel in peace, without worrying that her stump will be searched.
Tell the pilot to call ahead and have the airport ready with a wheelchair ….She is not going to be able to walk too well after those little blue pills.
*a few red bulls should take care of that*
Cant wait till the party….drunken twister is up 1st.
HB….will you be taking a train to Philly??
**I hope Ludwig isnt your pilot Scoundrel**
the Captain is the final authority, always. If the woman is a known problem, and you knowingly take her onboard a private flight and don’t inform the company of her past, you are putting yourself in the soup as well. If she misbehaves, it is completely and totally within the scope of the Captains authority to divert and land and put her off, or if you are closer to your destination, continue on and refuse to bring her back. I don’t imagine her damaging the the plane, but if that happens, it won’t be the company you will be dealing with.. but the police when you land because she is going to jail for endangering a flight, or interfering with a flight crew.
Since 9-11 judges are not seeing *any* humor in this area and she could well do time. No kidding. I had a ground crew *(idiot) make a comment about my airplane (he didn’t appreciate that we parked in the spot where his company normally did, we got there first… sorry… so Butthead made a threat against my plane, I had him repeat it so everyone standing on the ramp could hear it. He was in FBI applied handcuffs in less than 20 minutes.
Charter pilots take a LOT of crap off of “VIP” passengers that think because they have milllions of dollars they are above the law, and the company doesn’t want to offend a high profile customer, so if she is a big star (or former) she may have enough clout to get away with it.. but I sure wouldn’t want my way home riding on her behavior. You won’t get that tolerance from commerical carriers because they have to take into account all the other people on the plane.
Good Luck
Trust me, if your shelling out $10,000 for a private jet.
You can literally get away with just about ANYTHING.
I KNOW THIS for a fact, becaue i used to have to CLEAN those fucking private jets!
The things people would do and leave in them! Disgusting!
We flew in Hillary Clinton, and her dog pissed ALL OVER the carpet, and the back storage cabin smelled NASTY like a dog….
As if I didnt hate hillary enough already!
But i highly DOUBT they will refuse your friend…as long as he/she isnt ripping the leather seats apart and throwing bottles.
Other than that, you can do whatever.
They allow smoking on private jets, and even cigars and Marijuana.
Yes, ive smelt weed on jets many times, its not even an uncommon occurance…..after all, your over international waters…….
The stewardess doesnt care, she just wants to get hit on and get tipped, and they make ALOT of money already, trust me.
The pilots don’t care…as long as you dont fuck with them very much.
The planes practically fly themselves today……
The pilots just fly and want a tip, thats IT.
TRUST ME man, give the pilots a tip……especially if your friend is going to be a crazy drunk.
Half the pilots we had for our FBO were big pissed off dudes…….this one guy was an enormous body builder……dude probably coulda pulled the jet along the runway with his bare hands.
Last thing Id want to do is piss off the pilots, they can make your life a living hell,lol.
While it is true that the PILOT IN COMMAND has and is final authority over a flight (see U.S. Federal Aviation Regulations [FAR] 91.3), IT IS ABSOLUTELY AGAINST THE LAW for a pilot in command to knowingly carry a person under the influence of drugs or alcohol– it must be an emergency.
This is specifically stated in FAR 91.17(b):
“Except in an emergency, no pilot of a civil aircraft may allow a person who appears to be intoxicated or who demonstrates by manner or physical indications that the individual is under the influence of drugs (except a medical patient under proper care) to be carried in that aircraft.”
If said PIC allows such a thing to occur and is caused to declare and emergency, the FAA *could* (as judge, jury, and executioner) hold the PIC entirely responsible.
you’re asking a group of anonymous people on the internet? ok
and if you’re paying $150k for a plane.. you get to do whatever you damn want
We haven’t heard from the lady in question since before Christmas. Do you think she overdid it a bit? I’ll pop round and knock on her door with a bunch of grapes (attached to the vine, as it were).
Hire a jet? what is wrong with your own jet? or is it now in vogue to ‘hire’ one. And don’t tell me you don’t have one, my man Cuthbertson told me about your little surreptitious jaunts to the Continent in the dead of night. If you insist on hiring, stay well clear of Rotters contraption, apart from having two rather ‘iffy’ motor cycle engines, an open cockpit for the pilot and an outside toilet, the in flight catering is appalling. His stock of drinkable wine is to say the least, meagre. Although saying this, it might appeal to your lady friend as the fittings inside are, at best, pathetic. It is incredibly filthy on the inside and one has to wipe ones feet on leaving the craft to walk on the tarmac. If you do fly Rotter Airlines, then it is advisable to purchase the optional extra, namely a parachute. You would be extremely lucky to reach Putney from Heathrow let alone Philadelphia
I really vants to meet zis voman mit zi tassels who ist zi Mile High Club Member Mit Zi Most Points of all Time, at last, unt zee zi little pirate girl mitout a parrot zat zis voman drags arount all zi time, again. But me no flys in planes no more…no vey!
I’m just going to get Captain Scarlett to fly me over zere…in his rocket shipski…he said he vould let me shmokey my cigars on zi ship if I sit beside him in zi cockpit mit my finger in his ear zi whole vey. So I shaid, “Okey dokey!”.
Someone mention my name ????
Auntie Pablo!
Take your fingers out of Johnny’s ears, right this instance! He can’t hear a thing!
You know the cool thing about a private jet is that anything goes, you own that time… I would simply ask her to come in her favorite S&M then tie and gag her in the car when you arrive have them load her onto the plane… we know she is a sucker for sex games so she should go right along with it all… if she is good and to stop the shakes ungag and provide liquor. Don’t forget the thai sticks – it helps her fly…
I think a private jet would be recommended but just be careful while in customs. I know these elderly lady’s you speak of and there love for thai sticks. You may want to give the appropriate amount of time for them to work there magic for cavity searches, charming guards and such. Hopefully there will be a female guard for your pleasure…er im mean security. Good times……
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